tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-315223312024-03-07T12:13:39.507-08:00confessions of a virgin bloggera slightly confused, very naive and totally excitable citizen of the worldanandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-8091611138512801332009-02-25T21:43:00.001-08:002009-02-25T21:49:50.501-08:00IthacaAs we search so fervently for the end of our destination, as the goals we have set ourselves become blinding, as we carve that paths of our lives based on plans rather than reality - it is best we realise that liek has its own plans for us. being alive is not a strict adherence to a caerfully devised route, it is at acceptance of the richness of our journeys.<br /><br />may you travel far and wide in the depths of your soul, even if you never get to leave your own doorstep.<br /><br />this poem from constantine cavafy is a stark reminder that it is the journey, and not the destination, that truly defines us.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Ithaca</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,</span> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">pray that the road is long,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">full of adventure, full of knowledge.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">You will never find such as these on your path,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">emotion touches your spirit and your body.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">if you do not carry them within your soul,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">if your soul does not set them up before you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Pray that the road is long.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">That the summer mornings are many, when,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">with such pleasure, with such joy</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">you will enter ports seen for the first time;</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">stop at Phoenician markets,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">and purchase fine merchandise,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">and sensual perfumes of all kinds,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">as many sensual perfumes as you can;</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">visit many Egyptian cities,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">to learn and learn from scholars.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Always keep Ithaca in your mind.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">To arrive there is your ultimate goal.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">But do not hurry the voyage at all.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">It is better to let it last for many years;</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">and to anchor at the island when you are old,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">rich with all you have gained on the way,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Without her you would have never set out on the road.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">She has nothing more to give you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Wise as you have become, with so much experience,</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.</span></p>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-61127321007179260192008-10-30T21:57:00.001-07:002009-02-11T20:43:55.439-08:00conditional kindnessa few weeks ago situations mad it necessary for me to park in an unfamiliar, seemingly deserted basement carpark in the city. not having a choice, i said a prayer and went on my way.<br /><br />returning to retrieve my car wasn't quite as easy as leaving it there - as i walked in, i was terrified. i cant say i knew what of, but if youre familiar with the word dodgy and it's implication, that would be how i would categorise the carpark. there is just one car left to the packed basement i had left behind some hours earlier, and a motorcycle was playing witness to the romantic exchange between a young couple. they barely noticed me; i was well aware that they were about to leave and would see no reason to wait till i did. the low ceiling and the dim lights only served to magnify my fear in the eyes of my over-active imagination as i prayed fervently to myself that all will be well. while i could hear the comforting sounds of the traffic overhead, it served me no use as it would have only camouflaged my screams if id needed to do so. even the smell was different - rather than the exhaust fumes, i was enveloped in a wave of an old, murky dustiness that i couldnt place. The lack of circulation made me slightly breathless, yet sent a nervous shiver down my back.<br /><br />parking was to be paid at a small management office that was had no windows - hence no view of the carpark itself - and a small, tightly shut door. i pushed it open, only to see a young Indian man suitably entertained by a dvd on his laptop. I smiled gratefully, paid my parking, and even engaged in some nonsensical banter before leaving.<br /><br />one painful thing struck me, however - the only reason i spoke to him more than necessary, the only reason i looked into his eyes and genuienly smiled is because i was hoping that if anything happened to me he would help me out, or, worse still, would resist the temptation to hurt me on his own. If i was not so afraid, i might have at best said a quick thank you and left.<br /><br />it deeply upset me, because it seemed like a cruel thing to do. why could i not have smiled like that unconditionally? how mean and unfair have I become, that smiling from my heart is reserved for only the ones i expect help from? why couldnt I have smiled at him like that for no other reason than because I can?<br /><br />i made myself a promise that night, that I would never be so ingenuine or so unkind to only extend kindness for something in return. that I would smile and be nice to anyone regardless of the situation i was in, because i shouldnt get to decide who is worth my attention and who isnt. No one does.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-26433223491399482902008-08-16T10:59:00.000-07:002008-08-16T11:40:23.688-07:00the food of insecuritiesbehind almost every confident, beautiful woman, there lies an insecure little girl that wakes up when she least expects it. we dont really like this little girl, and we never actively encourage her nonsense, but its something we live with every day. most of the time we know we're absolutely fabulous, but there are moments we feel like absolute complete crap. dont ask us why - we just do.<br /><br />so the next time you men see an opportunity to make a woman feel pretty, spot some chance - no matter how trivial - to quell this silly insecure girl, TAKE IT. please tell us you dont care for the big boobs and perfect ass no matter how much you know you are lying - we know you lie too, but the fact that youve made the effort to bluff is sometimes enough.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-31227888094316907822008-08-04T04:51:00.000-07:002008-08-04T05:16:42.067-07:00chinese makan shopat a chinese makan shop, it is perfectly acceptable to crash a table that has a few seats unoccupied. once you arrive and cant find a free table, the next best thing is a table with maybe one or two people sitting at it. you then walk over, ask if you may sit there, and proceed to have your meal in complete isolation from each other.<br /><br />so if you see a bunch of people looking intently at their food atop white plastic tables at your nearby chinese coffee shop, its not that conversation has been held up by the meal - although knowing malaysians that scenario is also likely - its just that they may well be complete strangers, and only in each other's physical proximity because they need to eat.<br /><br />dont you think that's wierd? in a special, only-in-Malaysia kind of way?anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-863692997175818772008-07-31T01:12:00.000-07:002008-07-31T01:32:11.670-07:00adulthoodlast year, my cousin, who i always considered my little girl, got married to the man of her dreams.<br /><br />two days ago, my other sousin, still a baby himself, welcomed his son, my first nephew, into the world<br /><br />this weekend, one of the people closest to me is taking the first step to being married to the man she hopes to spend the rest of her life with.<br /><br />i dont know when we all grew up. i cant recall that pivotal moment when we became adults and were suddenly concerned with such wordly matters. i still feel like we're all kids, and we should be still out there enjoying the world and being young, from within. i fear for us, not because i think we're unprepared, but because i want to always be able to smile and think that no matter what happens, there will always be a time to fix things one day. i want to run on a beach and not worry about the waves overtaking me and about sharp shells poking my feet and about where im going because there is someone on the other end, waiting patiently to greet me.<br /><br />i want to always think that we're protected, that there is something and somebody out there watching out for us....... that we can always stop and think that there is nothing to stop and think about.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-69445626174502301262008-06-04T05:02:00.000-07:002008-06-04T05:11:42.672-07:00June 4<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Today must be what the heavens consider an important day. So much happened. Or is it that so much has happened in my own sphere, my own realm of existence?</div><div><br /></div><div>Most personal to me is the passing of Toni Kassim. A fighter from beginning to end, Toni represented a nation's hope in gender equality and women's rights. What set her so starkly apart is the political platform she chose to operate from. Toni represented hope, something we lack so dismally sometimes.</div><div><br /></div><div>Barack Hussein Obama, son of a Black Kenyan father and a white mother from Kansas won the democratic nomination, and will, for the first time, provide the world with some hope that the US may escape the tainted history it has had under the Bush administration. Breaking racial barriers is one thing, but Obama broke mental barriers - dare we hope for a more intelligent, hopeful America?</div><div><br /></div><div>And of course, my government announced an unbelievable fuel hike that puts petrol prices at RM2.70 a litre. It's not hope that this news represents, but a blatant lack thereof.</div><div><br /></div><div>life has to go on, and my pages have to close. till we meet again. adios my faithful readers, all two of you.</div>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-81401122189129262852008-02-20T23:17:00.000-08:002008-02-21T09:46:12.027-08:00looking out for our own blessings<div>everytime you think there is no god, anytime you feel lost and unloved and that the universe is out to get you, remember that it us who forget to look out for our own blessings soemtimes. the universe IS taking care of us. </div><div><br /></div><div>when you pass through a series of 5 headlights, all of which are green. when you get the perfect parking spot in a usually crowded area. when your fav song plays on the only radio station your stupid player is stuck on. when a story idea that pops into head like a strike of genius really is genius idea. when an article youre working on flows together quickly. when someone laughs at joke you crack, and you know that he or she is genuinely happy because of you even if its just for a minute.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>these are moments that prove that god really is looking after you, that whatever powers that be in the universe that you prescribe to are reminding you that they are on your side no matter what, that these small joys are meant to take you through the pain of the bigger sorrows that you are fated to experience. it is a short holiday from a season of bad luck and traffic jams, when the clouds part and the sun shines and lets you smile, and reminds you to cherish the moment because it will help you work your way through all else that comes your way.</div>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-29059438928773499862008-01-20T20:31:00.000-08:002008-01-21T02:35:19.485-08:00sunset<div>after a really long time, i was driving home at the right time and location to witness the most beautiful sunset. i was zipping home after spending the day with my grandmother, and as i emerged over the sprint highway the almost blinding rays of the seting sun shot straight into my welcoming eyes.</div><div><br /></div><div>the liquid gold of the setting sun sent out warm yellow rays that turned into dusky pink fingers that curled gently around tufts of perfect white clouds in a clear blue sky. despite the spattering of raindrops that refused to stop faling, the sunshine was obstinately warm.</div><div><br /></div><div>i had completely forgottem how much hope a sunset can inspire. and i had completely forgotten what feeling inspired by hope felt like. </div>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-90400414604985543152007-10-02T02:51:00.000-07:002007-10-02T03:13:45.094-07:00its been a YEARon october the 2nd, i celebrated a whole year of being at The Edge as a journalist. it has been one whole year since i uprooted myself from all that i knew and heaved into the unfamiliar with this job. when i tell people about my apprehension of a career change at 28, they scoff - apparently most career decisions ARE made at this age. which, rest assured, really didnt make me feel any more assured.<br /><br />but the fact remains that it was, and i willingly admit i miss PR desperately. there is something inherently fulfilling about the job i left behind. personally, it is about knowing how to do it.... i never had that many doubts, in my head i knew what was where and how to get things done easily. here, the simplest of tasks are an effort - for no other reason than i have never done them before.<br /><br />having said that, i'm glad i made the move. i have learnt an immeasurable amount things about myself and about other people which have shocked and surprised me. the past year has been peppered with events and incidences that has both caused me immense pain and pure joy... i learnt how to let go of the man i loved more than i ever realised, i saw dolphins in the pacific ocean, i watched my precious cousin get married to the man of her dreams, i suffered the pain of loss with my best friend when she lost her father, and i well and truly found myself again one random afternoon.<br /><br />this job has allowed me to do some of these things, and preoccupied me enough to get through the rest.<br /><br />to many more years here, to the many more things i want so badly learn, to lasting the journeys i desire to travel. i have never been so eager for my tomorrows to begin.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-72801181243397821772007-07-24T20:38:00.000-07:002007-07-24T21:11:09.749-07:00The search for Mr RightLike most women, i have been on the search for my mr right for a really long time. and like most women, i keep lamenting the fact that its the mr wrong's that i keep finding.<br /><br />several occurrences in the past year have opened up my eyes to something though.... all the men ive met - save for an irritating few - have been my mr rights. i have not been able to keep them to myself, but it is not to say that's the idea entirely - my mr rights are fine at the places that they occupy. yet, that doesnt make them any less right for the things they have done for me.<br /><br />they have made me the beautiful woman i know i am slowly becoming, and most importantly, they have shown me how to genuinely believe it. they been there for me wen i have needed a confidante, when i needed a warm body to hug, when i needed to have a beer and they made sure i wasnt alone....<br /><br />in my search for my 'mr right for me', i am fortunate beyond belief to meet some other mr rights<br />who have made this long arduous journey fun, delightful, interesting and safe.<br /><br />i will not list their names down here bcos i don't need to - they know who they are, and they know how much they mean to me. they know i will be there for them too. any time.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-27595874463654354432007-06-29T03:12:00.000-07:002007-06-29T03:42:58.232-07:00a wrongful obsessionwe are well and truly concerned and worried about all the wrong things. god may be in the details, but i seriously doubt he is in the details we obsess ourselves with.<br /><br />with the current furore surrounding the resignation of british prime minister tony blair, i am struck by one key detail - he is censured for one thing only, his association with george w bush and the war and terror. the british economy has otherwise thrived, indeed done relatively well under his regime. this one blemish, huge and all-encompassing tho i admit it is, is really the biggest mark in his otherwise ok-ish performance.<br /><br />i have another example. bill clinton is, till today, ridiculed and scorned for his extra marital affairs while in office. his administration however has received far less attention, even though it deserves much more. it is a crying shame that such an intelligent president, with very effective foreign policies (most of all), economic policies and education policies be treated in the way he is. honestly, america's most loved president, JFK, did exactly teh same thing. we just love him so much bcos he was killed so tragically. had he been allowed to run his term like Clinton did, im inclined to think that we would all thing far differently of him.<br /><br />george w bush on the other hand has displayed the personal morals and intelligence of a shoelace - yet was REELECTED. was it him being protestant? afraid of catholics are we then?<br /><br />so now the american public is scrambling. even though congress is predominantly democrat, the button that says 'bomb here' is still under bush's hands. so they will panic.<br /><br />obsess THAT.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-73465131708366769502007-06-25T00:25:00.000-07:002007-06-25T00:48:37.869-07:00the best birthday everand this year, i had it.<br /><br />i got 500 people celebrating and singing along with me (since my cousin's wedding reception was the same day).<br /><br />i got my entire family to dance till their shoes snapped.<br /><br />i ate birthday cake THREE TIMES.<br /><br />i got absolutely smashed with the people closest to me.<br /><br />before the actual day of my birthday, i was deeply upset that i didnt achieve all that i set out to last year. which still stands, im still upset about those things. but the fact is that they pale in comparison to the things i DO have, and really, im not so bad off after all. i can say confidently that i have a family most people would kill to be born into, and friends so great i couldnt have chosen better.<br /><br />here's to being 28, and to being me!! :)anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-67632905078655604402007-06-04T08:20:00.000-07:002007-06-04T08:33:51.517-07:00ok, let me clear the air - MY PREVIOUS BLOG ENTRY WAS NOT ABOUT YOU. yes, you, all those people who read my blog regularly and think ive lost my mind.<br /><br />I'M OKAY. really i am.<br /><br />the last entry was about me missing certain rituals that i associated with some people... both whom are alive and who have passed away. it was a an afternoon in which my thoughts had been allowed to stew for too long, and armed with an existing blogsite and a pleasing internet connection, i let it all fly.<br /><br />if anything, this has made me realise how far ive actually come, as well as how far ive yet to go. all these build up to a more whole, newer me. which i need.<br /><br />so chill. im made of tougher stuff than you think. 'sides, i have you guys.<br /><br />:)anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-18338110766287222222007-05-29T01:52:00.000-07:002007-05-29T02:07:48.046-07:00tired...................when does it stop to hurt? when do memories cease to feel like its tearing a hole in your mind every time it filters through your mind? enough of people saying it will be okay EVENTUALLY. eventually is cop out. and isn't even real. and as far as im concerned, it eventually has come and gone.<br /><br />im being held captive not by painful memories, but by memories that cause pain when they are summoned. im generally happy with life now, but my happiness comes with a shadow that i dont know how to cast off. i am so fortunate, i have so much, but that isnt the point..... i dont even know if im lamenting something ive lost, or if im lamenting the fact that its something i dont have anymore. am i making sense?<br /><br />i need to be set free. i need to have all of my heart back.<br /><br />im sick of this shit.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-15701308303535680962007-05-10T04:21:00.000-07:002007-05-10T04:29:13.392-07:00baggageis a child from a previous alliance baggage, or is he not? it is unfair to view him as such, and it is grossly inadequate not to...<br /><br />i was recently presented with this dilemma when i was introduced the young child of a newly separated friend. Does this bother you at all, my friend asked me, and with oceans behind my ears i said of course not, i see him as nothing but a child.<br /><br />a charming child he was, and as i soon found out seemed to take on more of my memory space that i thought he would. as it turns out, the feeling were reciprocated, as he asked his father where is SHE?<br /><br />of course he is baggage, he is someone else's baggage, he is the product of someone else's desires and now remains the symbol of a union that remains broken and a love that no one knows of anymore....<br /><br />the naive side of me has fallen in love with this child and dreams of seeing him again.. while the not-so-naive part falls in love with him too, but knows not if she should welcome him so willingly.<br /><br />i always though the worst part of growing up was just growing up... but now i realise the worst part of all is losing the ability to love innocently, and being able to understand why.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-86275833911402613502007-04-15T22:10:00.000-07:002007-04-15T22:40:30.256-07:00i love.....I love my chubby legs because they get up to greet people instead of just lying there. plus they work, and they're kinda long, which is good. :)<br /><br />I love my chubby arms because they are able to carry children and hug people and hold the hearts of those who need it.<br /><br />I love my tummy because it means i have food enough to put in it and besides love handles are a little bit sexy... the Devi idol in temples have a small tummy too.<br /><br />I love my asia-europe arse and hips because a baby will pass through that someday.<br /><br />I love my unruly, messy mop of curly hair because it is MINE and is what makes me ANANDHI.<br /><br />I love my face no matter how scarred it is right now because it holds so much emotion and expression and it smiles willingly for anyone.<br /><br />I love my not-so-great bra size because it protects a heart that is able to love more than I've ever given it credit for.<br /><br />I love my loud, swallowed-a-microphone voice and laugh because it means i am able to speak and i am fortunate enough to live a life that lets me laugh and makes others do so.<br /><br />after a lifetime of wishing i was someone else, I have fallen in love with myself again. its been grand i tell you, and despite all the flaws, I am wonderful. in time, others will see it. till then, at least i know im well and truly happy.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-76051820112533908172007-03-26T05:39:00.000-07:002007-03-26T17:42:39.077-07:00hmm....my 9-year old cousin recently was in the presence of a conversation i was having with my father about some war or another, think it must have been the palestine/israel conflict. and she asked me "anandhi, what is war like, really?" the ultimate symbol of peace remains as simple as a child's incomprehension of the concept of war - and how inspiring that is.<br /><br />can't imagine children her age in sri lanka feel the same way.... sigh. the tamil tigers are at it yet again, this time bombing an airport. judging against their previous little honey drops, this particular blast is actually quite docile... mustve lost the pin or something.<br /><br />this war, waged between two groups of people both claiming ownership, has gone on for so long... i am idealistic enough to believe that there is a solution out there somewhere, but where and how long they take to find it is still a lot to think about.<br /><br />all the tamils want is their own land, all the sinhala's want is for them to shut up - both with valid requests, yet so hard to compromise on and grant. the land they live on has attained such an emotional value, to the point no one wants to give it up for the better good of the majority of the people who live on it. just like the israelis i suppose, who will forever be fighting with palestine over land they both think they have a right to.<br /><br />at this juncture i wonder - historically, nehru has always been criticised for agreeing with mountbatten in giving jinnah pakistan, resulting in million dying as they traversed to a fake semblance of home so many never even reached. maybe all those years of censure were valid, after all, jinnah is known to have told his foreign minister he made a big mistake. if he had been given to rule the whole of india like gandhi suggested, it would have yanked the carpet from under his feet......<br /><br />the analogy works on both sides' favour, and im not about to preach anything here... but the war has caused yet another disturbing issue - buddhism, the predominant religion in sri lanka, has always preached peace and harmony. yet the clergymen there are the ones inciting quite a bit of the action.<br /><br />what the hell is going on???anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-64742205906910038062007-03-08T20:07:00.000-08:002008-12-09T18:37:31.239-08:00the picture of lovei dont boast to be a big theologist or anything, but in my little knowledge i HAVE discovered that the basic tenets of religion remain the same, and that our forefathers were all lazy and recycled a hell of a lot. by this i mean particular instances and examples of roles that individual gods and prophets are meant to play.<br /><br />i found this picture on someone's friendster and it was really quite quite brilliant, as both Krishna and Jesus are said to have ascended to earth from the heavens for the same reason.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHLUFTA0xD7xkpVFOnmO7VBOR9QrorHOszoc5MDvy3ezH8idwXuBkvPd_LjXowGuuc6QX0kF3yRVoMZESeLDb_-BcjrRvHsylSqZ6E8wiCMY9sFx-GSiYBP74PtBujWLaHarVA/s1600-h/krishna+%2B+jesus.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHLUFTA0xD7xkpVFOnmO7VBOR9QrorHOszoc5MDvy3ezH8idwXuBkvPd_LjXowGuuc6QX0kF3yRVoMZESeLDb_-BcjrRvHsylSqZ6E8wiCMY9sFx-GSiYBP74PtBujWLaHarVA/s320/krishna+%2B+jesus.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5039793375124820882" border="0" /></a><br /><br />amazing, isnt it? at least we know the illustrationists among us<br />see the similarities.....anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-23728756610838788562007-03-05T06:33:00.000-08:002007-03-05T06:34:32.057-08:00power trip<p>i seem to do this so often now... i seem to chance upon the oddest human characteristcs, at the most unusual places.</p> <p>is the ability to exclude a power to behold? not ever being the power hungry sort myself (much to my father's regret, he had me pinned as the next hillary clinton) its never occured to me to look at it that way. but the realities of being able to exclude someone is that its empowering. the simplest of words, tones and gestures collects a crowd and deliberately leaves one out.</p> <p>its a power thing.</p> <p>but whats also a power thing is surviving that exclusion. its also powerful to walk away and refuses to be left out, by simply belonging elsewhere. or better still, not needing to belong at all.</p> i dont know why some people see an innate need to exert their perceived sense of upmanship over others. although it draws its own need from a insecurity of some kind, its also is the core of cruelty - pure and simple. the inability to accept others on their own terms is already an inadequacy, but the need to alienate them completely is something else altogetheranandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-27866689948690302242007-02-21T08:20:00.001-08:002007-02-21T08:20:55.103-08:00whats goin on??cos ive just noticed something disturbing... my blog contains either entries on a broken heart or the tragedy that is american politics. one is however better than the other and Ive decided that my broken heart has healed enough for me NOT to display it any more.<br /><br />i still hurt a whole lot but this is getting out of hand.... im not one those soppy brainless girls that demand attention and that everyone love them. so ok, he didn't love me enough to fight for me but so bleeding what? thats his right entirely. i may deserve much more, but he deserves to walk out of something he doesn't believe in too.<br /><br />so to all the girls who read this and who can commiserate - get real ladies. we deserve so much better than to wallow, missin someone who we're better off without. we're all too good for this crap.<br /><br />for other random people who wander to this blog, im much smarter than the last two entries allude to... so please read em all. (talk about self promotion but hey the pr side of me had to rub off somewhere)<br /><br />my stiff upper lip has officially been unpacked. so watch it.anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-36856679015755968602007-02-13T07:50:00.000-08:002007-02-08T09:20:40.815-08:00a past revisited<div class="entry-content"> <div class="entry-body"> <p>the problem with revisiting past errors is that it reminds you exactly why they're errors.... unfortunately only after youve revisited them.</p> <p>sometimes feels like i will never learn. my heart gives in and believes the best in people despite my my head telling me otherwise. do i go with my head and distrust everyone, or do i go with my heart and continue getting hurt? its easy to tell me to go with my heart, its the romantic, idealist thing to do. which is exactly who i am. ive been such a fool, thinking that loving and caring unconditionally one day has its own rewards. if it does, ive yet to reap it. does it really make me a better person? does it really make any real difference? the ones who've walked away, who never felt any love, are happy, leaving me with my head in my hands and my heart in pieces. </p> <p>if there;s anyone out there who knows where this is going, or if theyve seen the fruits of their labour of love, i'd like to hear it. i need to be reinspired, and reminded that loving someone with all your heart at some eventual point comes back to - in a good way. that wearing your heart on your sleeve and trusting someone will not leave you shattered.</p> <p>i am tired. and i need some hope. and most of all, i'd like to meet a real man, and not the guy in the movies who ends up with the chick. need not even be mine to keep... just to know there are men who fight for the woman they love, who give in to her because he cant bear to see her less of something, who cries because he cant imagine life without her. someone who puts her and her needs first, even after he doesnt need to. </p> </div> </div>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-31515267018561676622007-02-07T19:39:00.000-08:002007-01-25T20:19:31.524-08:00ahem ahemok ok back to my unhealthy obsession with the american presidency... but has anyone noticed, that the next election will make history no matter who wins? it will either be the US's first black president, or the first who is female.<br /><br />apparently the big question at the moment is who should win, who is better, bla bla bla.... but i was faced recently with an interetsing perspective of things - why ask that question at all. its a dumb question, anmd its a divisive question. Dumb because a member of a group may not correctly represent the interestst of his group - Samy Velu hasnt done much, it stands to reason that this could happen anywhere.<br /><br />And divisive because well, look at this way - women in general and humans of colour have always been grouped together as a minority, as a cause that fought on similar terms. Studies have shown that women often support coloured people fighting on pro-equality platforms, and non-white men reacting similarly to women (white or otherwise) on pro-equality grounds.<br /><br />either which way, its a blessing. both candidates come with foreign policy experience (which Bush did not have, and still has no clue about), and both are civil rights advocates, feminists, environmentalists and critics of the war in Iraq.<br /><br />heralds some interesting times ahead................anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-58239665761508226042007-01-25T20:14:00.000-08:002007-01-25T20:19:31.621-08:002 am....<p>its slightly past two am, and im just home from an unplanned session with my best friends from college... despite all plans to do otherwise, us four nutjobs wound up polishing off a whole bottle of skyy vodka (damn the americans but im converted, this shit is good).</p> <p>i guess whats so nice about it is the comfort i got from it... no issues, no need to redeem myself, i can show up depressed (which i did) and still be adored for it. after several rounds of taboo (i rock at that game) and even more rounds of alcohol we crawled our way back to our cars with our usual parting shots to call each other when we get home.</p> <p>im as high as a vertigo-afflicted kite, but high nevertheless. hence this is no declaration of independence, not an explosion of intelligent repartee or political satire.</p> <p>it is a 28-but-still-think-shes-21 young woman thanking her lucky stars that she is able to see her friends, indeed have any at all. ann, with whom i have come so so far. with kul, with whom edges i've softened and who's sharpened mine. To melvin, with whom ive come furthest of all.</p> <p>there are more who deserve mention. again i have been blessed to meet all of those who do. but tonight, these three are the stars. </p> <p>love,<br />anandhi</p>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-86984217715786940502007-01-16T19:26:00.000-08:002007-01-16T19:30:19.181-08:00ha bloody ha<p>that i'm making TWO posts on the americans indicates some sort of unhealthy obsession, and youre probably correct... but lord they're so inane i cant help it. like how any adult is attracted, even if via nothing but sympathy, to the slowest child or the most ridiculed, so too is my attraction to the united states, and that comic strip that is the bush administration.</p> <p>i wonder if it has at any point struck them, the magnanimity of the chaos theyve caused. and i hate to have to spell out the two main things taht have driven them to cause this bedlam - money, and religion. The two most important sectors of power. dont believe me? look at the history of what they fight for. the entire mess in kuwait was over oil, ewhich quals money. all their doing in iraq is over the same damn thing, bush snr wouldnt have given a damn about saddam the funny middle eastern man if there wasnt any oil involved. the mess theyve created in palestine and israel are religiously skewed as well - it pains me, how dare they use christ's name to inflict so much pain on palestinians. i am neither christian nor muslim, but this is ridiculous. Innocnet somali's suffer at the latest attacks as well - surprise surprise, attacks made specifically on muslim courts. Now the power has switched to ethiopia... say, who knew that was a christian country. coincidence? perish the thought.</p> <p>and there's news of the US bombing Iran now? i shudder at teh thought. think about it... george bush is a loose cannon, and even if he has now a slightly tougher challenge in dealing with an opposing democratic congress now, the button is in his naive hand. </p> <p>i usually hate watching tv, especially the news, but the latest gift to the idiot box of late has been al-jazeera. and i must say that has been such a pleasant antithesis to the banality of CNN. which i admit i have rescinded a long time ago in favour of the BBC, but still, my respect of al-jazeera's brand of news has increasingly soared into the stratosphere. i suppose some element of personal bias is present, its exposing our fairweather friends for their stupidity.. yet in the fairest most non-judgemental of ways. its a balm for my unsettled soul, but certainly a thimbleful of water in a forest fire as far as the iraqis and somalians go.</p> <p>what a keener sense of awareness for teh rest of us will do is yet to be seen, especially since bush jr doenst seem to take the hint when leaders and countries all over the world stop agreeing with him, and a large majorioty of his own people have ceased to trust him too. when will he realise, all his interventions are like the cruel stab of a knife into someone... once stabbed, the damage is unretractable. it hurts to leave it in, it hurts to take it out.</p> <p>pray tell mr bush, what will you do now? your southern twang and your nationalist talk gets you no further. tell us what to do with that knife of yours. and when you'll take it back for good. </p>anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522331.post-1167702542415136622007-01-01T17:44:00.000-08:002008-07-21T01:17:07.403-07:00to 2007like a lot of people, this year i have a lot to be thankful for......... cept that mine are odd, out-there, and in no way what normal people thank the heavens (or the other powers that be) for. thank you:<br /><br />for my parents - since they brought me in, they can take me out - hence, i thank them for lettin me live. ;) also, i owe them a hell of a lot for seeing me through past one of the toughest moments of my life... i had no idea they could be so understanding and appreciative of my pain. they let me live - far more than most parents allow their children, certainly certain parents and children ive been acquainted with.<br /><br />for baby brothers - for just being them.<br /><br />for baby cousins - for letting me raise them. and look at them today and realise that IS the life i want for myself one day. oh, and for letting me know what NOT to do so i dont screw my own kids over. ;)<br /><br />for grandmothers - especially my own, for being forward thinking ahead of her time, watching me make my own mistakes and praying for my sanity when i did.<br /><br />for friends - so i know who to send my kids to for what advice. in fact, for some of em, none at all. hahah.<br /><br />for the american presidency - for providing me with a lifetime of comic relief. and teaching me taht there is a group of people who repudiate a man who had an affair but is an excellent administrator, to a man who is obviously besotted with the devil's court jester instead.<br /><br />for saddam hussein - for teaching me the value of a fair trial, only because he was so unfairly denied one.<br /><br />for Mohd Yunus and Grameem Bank - for understanding that poverty has a female face, and for believing in women's strength and power to heal it<br /><br />for oprah winfrey - for giving such men and women a voice, and being such a kick ass babe herself<br /><br />for supermodels - for giving me inspiration to be thin<br /><br />for gavin yap - for reminding me that men like cheerful women who enjoy their food, rather than skinny bitchy girls (actually he told me this last year but im a slow study sometimes)<br /><br />for yasmin ahmad - for always telling me im beautiful (anyone likes to be lied to sometimes)<br /><br />for tom yam - cos its where june, rathika and i bond most of all<br /><br />for sungai wang - COS DISCOUNT SHOPPING ROCKS, YA'LL!!<br /><br />for bbce - cos tv now is no more the idiot box<br /><br />for champagne and wine - for the constant excuse of talking too much sense for the inebriated<br /><br />for my reading habit - for letting me escape once in a while. lord knows i needed it.<br /><br />for george clooney and jude law - so my mother understands what sexy means and she knows which men to send my way. ;)<br /><br />for london, paris, prague and budapest - for being the backdrop of my heart's adventure of the century<br /><br />for god - for giving me the soundness of mind to be intelligent, for giving me strength of being to be compassionate, for giving me the gift of faith to always, always believe.<br /><br />to 2006 - cheers!!!!anandhihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05539172568424182329noreply@blogger.com0