the ultimate fight

during my recent trip to the land of heartache and back (if i ever find cupid I will break his arrows and send him for shooting lessons) I have made a startling discovery about real feminism, people and what we're realy prepared to swallow.

real feminism is i suppose about not having to conform, and doing what WE feel is the right thing for ourselves. But the world is tragically not always sure about what they want us women (hereafter referred to as chicks cos i said so) to conform to doing. asking what it is people want is a loaded question, and the flurry of bullets is somehting Bonnie and Clyde would find difficult to dodge.

a long time ago, chicks were expected to get married, have babies, and raise a household. Not conforming was shoving this all, have a career and swap the men for a puppy isntead - they do, a lot of the time, behave the same anyway.

But after generations of chicks doing this home vs ho thing, people grow accustomed to it, and chasing a career in the name of chasing a child becomes accepted and lauded. Single motherhood is the new chic, and desiring anything but becomes odd and unheard of.

But the problem is that these generations of chicks who have fought have begotten baby chicks who understand the value of that fight, hence dont need to do it anymore. we see what has been fought for, what was won, whats been lost, and most importantly, what needs to be made a play for today. we have seen enough to know we can chase both careers and children, and the universe in the kind name of technology has helped us see how to do it.

yet, when a young, trendy chick of today is brave enough to stand up and say marriage and babies and a home is what she genuinely really wants, no man is man enough to take her word for it. wanting a life she sees as meaningful cannot possibly mean somehting other than bar hopping career chasing yuppiehood - hence she is left out in the cold, cast away from her more successful sisters who see success in other coloured glasses. this view point is valid, it perfectly fair for any chick to say she likes her future without a family in it - but must we so indiscreetly berate the chick who does? must we leave her because we dont see enough in ourslevs to commit to her? are her dreams, just because they dont involve world domination, any less valied, or any less as perfect? she keeps all her desires in teh tissue paper of her hopes, committing to memory the feeling on unconditional love she is afraid she may never receive, because there are so few men who brave enough to offer it.

we have ALL, men and women, lost the plot. Being a woman, a lady, means fighting for the space to be who she is, and appreciating others who are too. i am not afraid of admitting that i have the girliest of dreams, to marry the man i love and one day bear our children. to raise my family and guard them from harm. i am however terrified taht i may never find a man strong enough to accept me for these dreams, to want me despite them, and to tell me im not crazy for desiring them in the first place.